Lil Miss Hot Mess at PrideFest
This week in our Pride Guide SPOTLIGHT, you get TWO WAYS to appreciate one of our headliners, Lil Miss Hot Mess. The interview (below), and our just-published PrideCast featuring her and Aleksa Manila about the joys and challenges of Drag Queen Storytime. Enjoy either or both!
By LA Kendall LaBree (Curator, Consultant and Logistics – Seattle PrideFest)
We are so excited to have Lil Miss Hot Mess with us this year for Seattle PrideFest – both Capitol Hill PrideFest, and PrideFest Seattle Center! I was originally exposed to Lil Miss Hot Mess by the dearly departed Heklina when my business partner at the time and I brought her epic and iconic party to town. Have followed Lil Miss Hot Mess ever since.
In this terrifying era where it feels like the LGBTQ community has become the culture war distraction, our Transgender and Drag Queen siblings are bearing the brunt. Lil Miss Hot Mess has been leading the charge on Drag Story Hours nationwide, which has made her a target for some pretty awful treatment, and some unbearably uncomfortable situations. Like a champ, she soldiers on.
LAKL: First off – what’s in the name? Love it like a fat kid loves cake. Tell us the story behind it.
LMHM: Let’s just say that it’s a name that I earned in my early twenties, before I even started doing drag. It was during Pride and a bunch of friends all gave each other nicknames of “Lil Miss _____.” I may or may not have had a few too many Long Island ice teas, and I may or may not have been the biggest hot mess of the night. A couple years later, when I signed up to perform drag at the legendary T-shack Star Search pageant in San Francisco, I realized I didn’t have a name: but Lil Miss Hot Mess felt right for the kind of social commentary I wanted to offer. Since then, I’ve certainly mellowed out personally, and as I like to say, I’m no longer here to be the biggest hot mess, but to remind audiences what a hot mess our world can be.
LAKL: What inspired you to be a drag queen?
LMHM: In many ways, I always wanted to be a drag queen, even before I had the language for it. I was that femme queer kid who loved to dress up in my mom’s clothes, throw a towel over my head as a “wig,” and put on shows in the backyard where I bossed around other kids. Even though I didn’t come out until college, in high school, I played the drag role of Thisbe in A Midsummer Night’s Dream — and auditioned with a drag routine on rollerblades. So for me, drag has always been a means of expressing my femininity and gender fabulousness, as well as getting to play and perform.
LAKL: You have been an activist since the jump, it would seem. Which we LOVE. You cofounded the #MyNameIs campaign. What led you there? What was the goal? What did you achieve?
LMHM: Oh honey, I’ve always been an activist: even as a kid, I started petitions in my neighborhood and once convinced my brothers to “picket” in our family living room to get a new TV. In my out-of-drag life, I’ve worked on campaigns for a living wage, international human rights, and all sorts of LGBTQIA+ issues.
The #MyNameIs campaign really just emerged out of a seemingly-simple issue: drag performers were suddenly blocked from Facebook or forced to use our government names. And, not surprisingly, we were not ones to take that lying down! So we organized a protest at Facebook’s headquarters. But we also quickly realized that this wasn’t just an issue that affected us, but also hurt trans youth, survivors of sexual violence, Native Americans, and many others who were just trying to express themselves authentically or maintain their privacy on Facebook. Our goal became much broader: to preserve access and safety on the social networking site. After months of campaigning, we were able to get Facebook to apologize, restore thousands of people’s accounts, and implement new policies and procedures to prevent this from happening again. Though I have to say, Facebook’s response was far from perfect, and I still hear from people to this day who get caught up in the drama of the “name police.”
LAKL: You are one of the leading advocates for Drag Story Hour. What drew you to this? Why did you think it was important?
LMHM: Drag Story Hour was founded by my friends Michelle Tea, Julián Delgado Lopera, and Virgie Tovar in San Francisco in 2015. I had just moved away from San Francisco to New York City and was clocking photos and videos of so many of my drag sisters having the time of my life. I had gotten to do a few events with kids over the course of my career, and honestly, I was jealous and I wanted in! It was just so apparent not only how joyous these events were, but also how they really tapped into so many similarities between children and drag performers: activating our imaginations, playing creatively, and using dress-up as a means of transforming ourselves and the world. Since then, I’ve had the pleasure of not only being a storyteller, but also helping to build out our organization, which is a network of local chapters across the country and the world!
LAKL: Clearly this has become very divisive in recent times. Though I am not sure if that is true, or if we are just paying more attention now. What is your perspective, and why do you think there are so many misguided feelings towards this?
LMHM: Unfortunately, we have seen our fair share of hateration since almost the very beginning. Though what started off pretty small – a few protestors here and there, maybe some comments at a library board meeting – has since grown into a coordinated campaign of both legislative and white nationalist attacks. One of the scariest parts is that these attacks demonstrate how conservative politicians are really taking the lead from some of the most hateful and dangerous right-wing members of their coalition.
I think the reasons they’re attacking us are threefold. First, it is rooted in the long legacy of homophobia and transphobia (not to mention misogyny, racism, and other forms of oppression) on the right, which has once again reared its ugly head into attempts to control everyone’s bodily autonomy and self expression, from attacks on trans people to reproductive healthcare. Second, it is a “wag the dog” moment, where Republicans are making clear that they don’t actually have a policy agenda, and they’re not going to address real threats like gun violence or climate change, so instead they’re trying to rile up their base. And finally, it is an attack on imagination itself, which is part of the fascist playbook: to prevent free thinking and creative expression so that we remain fearful and unwilling to imagine more just futures. It’s important that we fight back against all of this, and affirm our rights to queer-affirming education, expression, and joy.
LAKL: You’ve had some scary moments - can you share with us what was probably the most abhorrent? Not to trigger you or our audience, but some folks are not paying attention – so we’d love to hear it from the mouth of an “expert in the field” who has had to deal first hand.
LMHM: It can feel rough out there. I’ve received death threats, had events canceled due to credible threats on our venues, and been harassed at my day job. And many of our performers have had to deal with people interrupting their events and getting in their faces in terrifying ways. But, as a community and organization, we’ve rallied and been doing a lot of work to envision what community safety looks like: after all, we’re the best ones at knowing our needs and protecting each other.
LAKL: You have written two children’s books. What was that like, what was the process, what has the response been?
LMHM: Never did I ever think I’d be a drag queen reading to kids, and I certainly didn’t think I’d publish books about drag queens! But getting to write The Hips on the Drag Queen Go Swish, Swish, Swish and If You’re a Drag Queen and You Know It and to share them with the world is one of my greatest joys.
Both books started as songs I would sing with kids at events: I literally came up with them on the subway on my way to story hours, as I was trying to think of new ways to make them more interactive. I thought about how drag is so often about taking elements of pop culture and giving them a bit of a queer twist, and how well that would work with children’s songs (indeed, many queens have made careers on song parodies). And to be honest: most of the lyrics came so easily, and it was fun to realize how many similarities were possible with the original songs!
I’ll also just say that getting to see kids interact with the books is so special, whether that’s in person at events or in the photos and videos parents often send me. I’ve been told many times that one of my books is a kid’s current favorite, or that they can never read it just once. I’m just so honored to get to be a part of kids’ lives in that way — that some kids may only realize as adults that the tunes traditionally aren’t about drag queens — and it’s really healing to my own inner child.
LAKL: What can people do to support the work that you and other drag queens like you are doing? How can we as a community put our resources behind you and others to make you feel safe, supported, and strong?
LMHM: Lately, when people ask me about all the backlash we’re facing, I can’t help but say: drag is the answer, we need more drag! That is, the answer to hate isn’t just love — it’s imagination, creativity, and play. Drag offers us so many tools to think and act beyond this moment — it’s what drag has done for our communities for decades upon decades. Drag has gotten us through times when our identities have been criminalized and when our loved ones were dying en masse. We need to tap into that power of laughter and solidarity now too.
On a practical level, we need all of our allies to speak up: get in touch with your inner queen and be loud! That means doing more than just voting, but write letters to your elected leaders, show up to protests — hell, run for office yourself! It’s important to remember that these attacks are happening at every level — school and library boards, city councils, state legislatures, all the way up to Congress — and we need people in every position singing our praises and standing up for all of our rights (especially trans youth!).
And, of course, we need funds to sustain this work because, in the immortal words of Dolly Parton, "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap!" Whether that’s tipping your favorite drag performers, or donating to organizations like Drag Story Hour, I recommend you keep your funds grassroots and local to ensure they’re being stretched the furthest.
LAKL: You’ve been called “The People’s Drag Queen”. What does that mean to you? How does that feel to you?
LMHM: I mean, we’re all the people’s queens. Sometimes when the kids ask me if I’m a real queen, I like to tell them yes (duh!), but unlike most queens, I don’t rule over people — I’m of the people. That, too, is part of the magic of drag: we remind people that we can all be royalty, that we’re role models because we earn respect, and the best queens give back to the community even more than we get.
LAKL: We are over the moon to have you as our guest this year for Seattle PrideFest. One of my curations that I am MOST PROUD OF. What are you looking forward to when hitting the Emerald City?
LMHM: It’s truly my pleasure, as Seattle has always held a special place in my heart: when I was truly a Lil Miss Hot Mess, I almost moved to Seattle instead of San Francisco, and I’ve always wondered “what if?” It’s definitely the city I’ve visited most but never lived in. But I’ve never been to Seattle PrideFest, so I’m excited to see how you all like to party — and catch up with some of my best Northwest Judies.
Catch Lil Miss Hot Mess Saturday, June 24 at Capitol Hill PrideFest – and Sunday, June 25 at PrideFest Seattle Center.